Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert?

“Goes to show you don’t ever know…”

“Who am I anyway? Am I my resume? That is a picture of a person I don’t know.”

Any “A Chorus Line” fans out there?

But I digress…

When it comes to personalities, the subject of introverts and extroverts has always fascinated me but it was only in the last few years that I discovered there is a third category: ambiverts.

We all know that introverts prefer being OUT of the limelight (and in many cases safely IN the comfort of their own homes). The mere thought of being invited to a party drains them and being alone actually recharges their batteries. Extroverts, on the other hand, usually cannot stand solitude and their social calendars are always full. 

Being around people all the time fills them up with energy I’ve always considered myself an extrovert until very recently. When the pandemic hit, I was able to default to my introverted side and it got me thinking (and googling of course) when I stumbled upon the word “ambivert”—an actual combination of being both an introvert and an extrovert. The light bulb went off in my head and suddenly it all made sense to me!

Before I continue, did any of you study Latin in high school? Perhaps it’s time for a refresher course!

Introvert: Intro—inward; vert—turning

Extrovert: Extro—outward; vert—turning

Ambivert: Ambi—both; vert—turning

You’re welcome!

I remember back in the day, sneaking out of the WSDaH monthly jam sessions at 10pm when the extroverts were just warming up. I loved socializing with everyone but I would reach a point where I’d had enough and just wanted to be home alone basking in my solitude. Saying personal goodbyes to everyone was not an option at that point.

Can you relate?

Recognizing this new category made so much sense to me. There were so many times over the years that I was secretly relieved to be home alone after spending hours interacting with people and now I finally had a name for it.

Getting to know the WSDaH Family members over the years has been so interesting to me. Like a personality researcher, I sometimes try to figure out who amongst us are the introverts, extroverts and ambiverts. As always, it was time to reach out to my fellow WSDaH Family members and dive a little deeper into their psyches.

A chef, a financial planner, an SVP and Chris Batten walk into a bar…

Hiding behind the food

“Hey now!

It's your favorite extroverted introvert Chef!

For those that don’t know me, my name is Gerard. I have been part of the WSDaH family since 2017.

‘Whoa, oh, what I want to know, where does the time go’?

What the hell is an extroverted introvert? I would describe myself as someone who loves the energy of being around people without having to talk to them. Think: go to concerts all over the place but be happy you don’t have to talk to anyone. This has driven my uber-extroverted mother nuts since I was in 1st grade, and she still cannot believe I am not a fan of spending time with people. She wants to know how I can lecture for 3 hours, throw events, be on TV yet be shy… Well, it’s all an act. A coping mechanism as it were.

I am not looking for pity. My desire to turn inwards has allowed me to focus on my cooking which has allowed me to live all over the world, such as the Caribbean, Italy, Spain, England, France, Singapore, and all over the USA! I do not feel the distraction of talking to others, but I talk to the food.

I will speak at length to clients for catering, party planning, consulting jobs etc, but it is work for me and to recover, I enjoy spending 7-16 hours doing half and full ironman races where I can be in my head.

Enter Momma Bear… Deb has been instrumental in getting me to learn how to network, which I laugh and say I have avoided for 30 years. She is always coaching me to speak to more people at our events, and I still manage to hide behind the food. I am a work in progress and hope to become better at making the first intro, but once I feel comfortable, I will speak for hours?! So do not let my exterior fool you. At the next event, I really want to talk to you. I am still learning how to be confident enough to do it, so come say hi, and I will freely speak about anything,”

Gerard Viverto

Hiding behind the backpacks

“When I was in high school and college, I made friends trading tapes by mail and at concerts. Since some of these folks from different towns and different colleges would end up meeting each other through me, I built a bit of a reputation as someone that was very social and ‘knew everyone.’ I even remember some teachers and relatives calling me an extrovert. Meanwhile, in my own class in high school and in college, I actually had very few close friendships.

When I went to business school at the age of 40, most of my classmates were younger and arguably more accomplished in their careers. I was really intimidated by this group of 85. The administrators told us from day one ‘if you’re getting all As in this program, you’re not using your time wisely.’ They meant that the most valuable thing about getting an MBA is the people you meet and can rely on for decades for referrals and job interviews and camaraderie.

I found comfort and safety in my very small 5-person learning team and we made quick friends. They proceeded to nominate me to be the Class Social Rep. I remember organizing all sorts of fun events to help the class to gel as a cohort. They gave me so much credit for putting energy into being ‘super social and extroverted.’ Ironically, when I would get home, I would be so exhausted from seeing so many people that I would pretty much be by myself for the next couple of days.

10 years ago (almost to the day!), I received a LinkedIn invite from Deb Solomon. I saw that we had a couple of connections in common, but I had no idea who she was. We eventually talked after a couple of friends suggested that she could be really helpful to the value investment fund I was about to launch. I attended my first Annual Event that October 2014 and most of the Annuals after that, but I can’t say I was really motivated to connect with people in between.

It’s only been since the start of the Networking Buses that I’ve felt empowered to reach out to family members one-on-one. A couple of years ago, Reza and I offered to help Deb distribute the member backpacks to the Westchester/Fairfield people to make her life a little easier. As it turns out, this new tradition has led to regular small get togethers, meetups at concerts, and some valuable business relationships. So I once again needed this push in order to engage on a deeper level. Introvert?

Extrovert? Ambivert? I really don’t know!”

Prem Hira, Founder, Investry, LLC

Never hiding

While I think each of us has both an introverted and extroverted side to our personalities…I’ve always leaned fully into being an extrovert.

I guess it comes from being the second (and last) child in my family. Not to mention growing up with a dynamic and charismatic father—fully rooting us all in the world of ‘sales’.

Sure, I like kicking back, minding my own business and laying low from time to time—but it’s in my nature to get out there, meet people, drum up ideas and for some reason, put myself in any type of situation that allows me to connect with as many people as possible (basically an introvert’s worst nightmare).

For 22+ years, I’ve worked in Business Development and Strategic Account Growth across various levels of agencies in the advertising world. My job requires me to be nimble enough to lead a cross-functional team, while also working as a ‘lone (dire) wolf.’ That means, I have to be able to rally myself while drumming up engagement within my team and our audiences.

Being such an extrovert, I genuinely care about others. My outbound personality likes to talk, learn and connect on a deeper level with almost everyone I meet. I think this trait is exactly why I’ve been able to lead diverse teams across many different industries—from music & entertainment, finance, CPG, pharma and more. I like to think that no matter what the subject or space—I can find and BE the common thread throughout.

In fact, I’ve led my band, Chris Batten & The Woods for the past 20 years. Sure we never ‘made it’ — but we outlasted everyone we used to play with and to this day, we’re still playing, we’re still writing, we’re still releasing music.

The extrovert in me is certainly driving this, feeding off the outlet of music and the satisfaction of putting it out into the world (plus my kids are now our biggest fans—what more could you want?)…but it’s also a major influence in how I’ve carried myself throughout my career—never afraid to walk on to a stage, look a crowd in the eye and start a conversation.

‘At least I’m enjoying the ride…”’

Chris Batten, VP, Head of Brands & Agencies Luminate

What a fun, interesting mix of eclectic personalities! Together as a Family, whether as an extrovert, introvert or ambivert, we all mesh together so well. Remember, first impressions can be deceiving.

Always try to dig a little deeper when you initially meet someone and chances are, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Which category best describes you: Introvert, extrovert or ambivert?

“You and me bound to spend some time wonderin' what to choose…”